How times have changed. The sounds of CNN seem to be all that people hear as they travel anymore. How comforting to hear one crisis after another, accompanied only by the repeated code alert of our homeland security. It is usually orange. What does that mean exactly?!

After running hard to catch your plane, possibly the sound track of “Chariots of Fire” should be playing as one bolts for their gate.

Though I hear the sounds of music when I enter the airport, rating it as I approach security, I never really hear the specific sound as I am being frisked! Due to a pacemaker, I have to be searched. Each time the questions are the same. I begin to answer them before they are fully finished asking me. It once bothered me to “be different”, but now, I call it my airport massage. After all, I have just undressed. I McWonder why even bother anyway to dress fully when going to the airport, considering how security handles the common traveler. I wonder. Are others watching my search or simply trying to find their belongings as they re-dress on the run to the gate? Does anyone care really?

I am baffled why a “blind” woman seems like a threat to our national security!  I just pretend I am royalty and enjoy the complimentary personal services.

Three questions always make me giggle. The first is, “Do you have any sensitive spots?” as I answer, “Won’t know till you touch them. Carry on.”

The next two questions is so predictable that I begin to smile before they ask. “Traveling alone?” To which I always answer, “No. I am traveling with my husband.” then the prize—“What does your husband look like?”

Good comedy is about good timing. I usually turn my head slowly in their direction and say, “I have no idea.” The best of TSA agents usually get sheepish for asking a blind woman such a silly question and the search for a good man begins. I just follow.

I love the overly authoritive Federal agent who motions me to move through a special separate gate. I figure that he is talking to me when he repeatedly says with a loud booming voice , “Ma’am! Ma’am!!! Come this way!” I just stare off in the distance for the fun of it . Making him feel badly when he finds out I cannot see his signals. Talking louder does not help my condition.  I think “Sir! I can clearly see you are making a fool of yourself. Just be a gentlemen and offer me your arm as you escort me through your gate.” However, I simply and calmly wait with a smile on my face as I say, “Oh! I am sorry.  I did not SEE your hand.” Suddenly, I begin to hear the music again and start humming as I go on my  merry way.

What “follies” have you had while traveling? 

 When you choose to look past the horizon… the sky is the limit!